i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
