During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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