How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
