I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
