Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
