So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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