We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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