Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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