he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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