sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
