Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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