"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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