i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
