i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
