There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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