Life is so much better after having sex.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
