wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
