You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
