He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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