Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
