theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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