well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
