How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
