There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
