I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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