I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
