Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I did not marry a roomba.
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