Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
