You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
