I feel like I'm in dance class right now
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The beer is more important than you right now.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
