I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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