end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
