I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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