Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
