the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
