last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
