He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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