Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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