My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
