Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Drunk is a universal language darling
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