I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
