How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
