I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
