I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
