I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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