How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
