is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
