My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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