i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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