Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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